May 28, 2012


Andrew has a puppy. 

And since I've trained him so well, he named her Pixie. is the perfect name. 

My work here is finished.

But Andrew's...

Is just beginning.

May 9, 2012

to my older brother

Though I never got to meet you
(I was born a year too late)
I've always known that you were real
despite the fact that fate

chose to take you prematurely
I will never understand
why seven days is all you got;
never to become the man

that I know you would have been,
strong and smart, and wise and true...
a caring older brother
protecting me like brothers do.

I always wished that you had lived,
filled that gap, been by my side...
even though I never saw you,
in my mind you were alive.

And not just me, but all my siblings
and dad and mom both too.
We saw what you would have been
in our hearts those dreams came true.

But then someone once told me
"well, if your brother had not died,
you might never have been born
you prob'ly would not be alive..."

I must realize that in death
you gave the greatest gift of all...
Maybe you gave up your life,
so that I could live at all.

It's hard to fathom when I think
of all the fears that hold me back. 
Why aren't you the one who lived...
when I'm the one who lacks?

Rather than let the injustice 
weigh me down like it once did,
wond'ring how my life could matter
when you had much more life to live...

 I try to just be grateful
and make the most of being here
for each day is a gift...
even though some gifts bring tears.

And I hope that when my time comes
and my life is gone away...
I'll have made as big an impact
as you did in seven days.

Happy 22nd Birthday Luke. 
Wish you were here...

the tattoo reads "Forever in Our Hearts" in Latin. For Luke.

May 7, 2012

3:41 p.m.

Life is so much more fun when you have someone to bounce with ;)

May 4, 2012

i have found

that board games

in my family

involve alot more emotional involvement

and mental agility

than i seem to have available

so I focus on taking random pictures instead.

(proof that I was there) brothers are so competitive. 
I really don't get how ending up with less plastic soldiers than the next person is going to affect you for the rest of your life...

(pictures taken on my phone)

May 1, 2012

a promise kept

Everything changed, it was over so fast
they were so happy but then the time passed...
and they woke up one day, faced with a plight
'cause deep down they knew that this wasn't right. 

To keep fighting for something they just couldn't get
was unfair to each other, like birds in a net
they were trapped by their feelings, it was far worse than tough
because they soon realized that love isn't enough.

In the old songs they say love is all that you need
but it must not be was painful to see,
that although their love for each other was real
there was something else needed, more than what you feel...

something they never could manage to find...
no matter how hard each of them tried.
They stood at a crossroads, where the choice must be made
and they knew that their lives would not be the same.

So with tears and hearts breaking, it came to an end
but also a new start, for now they were friends.
And as hard as it was to let go of the past
and move on from what was, 'cause it just didn't last...
they did. They grew stronger, with each passing day
and the friendship they had cast a light on their way.

At first she felt lost when the "we" became "me"
it had been us for so long it was hard now to see...
her life seemed so empty, drained of it's cause
when she felt her heart breaking she just had to pause...
when she felt so alone that the tears bathed her cheeks
she just had to remember...he's still there for me.
'Cause even though things now were not how they'd been
they were looking beyond that. He was her friend.

And a friend is a gift, so keep looking ahead,
even though when it happened, her mind loudly said
"This is too hard, and too painful
turn your back and don't try"
But deep down she knew, as tears filled her eyes
that wouldn't be fair, and it wouldn't be best
for when life gets so hard sometimes its just a test...
to see what you're made of, and how much you cared
when you said, as a friend, that you'd always be there.
You can prove with your actions and show with your strength
that a promise, no matter how hard, doesn't fade.

As the friendship began, both of them tried
to build something new...over scars deep inside.
And i know scars don't heal, but in time they don't hurt
they'll just be a reminder of all that you've learned. 
'Til you're left with a friendship...stronger than ever
because only through storms you'll learn what you can weather.

Being friends will last longer than anyone said
now your heart's not so broken, 
but it's also not dead. 
'Cause you've chosen, in friendship, to learn from the past...
and look to the future, where you might at last
both find whatever you've been searching for.
Your journey's beginning...just open the door.